We Meet the New Generation

I can't seem to keep up with my blog anymore. I'd love to say it's *only* because I've been so busy, but that's not the only reason. I've blogged for many years and I guess it's probably starting to get old for me. Don't feel so much like putting my life out there any more. I think it was probably cathartic for a long time but now... I'm just getting older and different things are important to me now.

Well, well... our beautiful baby girl, Addisyn, was brought into the world last month by my Scooby. I got to be in the room for the delivery and watched her poke her head out into the world for the first time! It was totally cool to be there, but it did reinforce my decision (yet again - this has been a lifelong reinforcement!) not to have kids. Just not my cup of tea. People talk about how it's some "miracle" or something to be cherished and yeah, I can appreciate why they'd feel that way... but there was no miracle in my eyes. The emotion, the "love", the feeling of it being a miracle is all related to biochemical processes in the brain that ensure the survival of our species and make it so we don't kill and eat our own babies. HA!! It was hard, it was difficult and it was brutal. It was 100% biology. There is no "god" in the room and it's not something "special", rather it's something 100 billion women do every generation (not to mention all of the female mammals out there). I've seen enough doggys giving birth so it wasn't a surprise to see how much pain was involved. Also, I've never felt so much heartache for someone else that I love! I was thinking in the middle of it, "bring on the c-section, dammit!" :)

Scooby (my term of endearment for my niece) did great!!! I was amazed and marveled at her good mood, her happiness and her damned desire to get that kid out of her belly. She was precious and brave and especially funny when they gave her torbugesic for the pain and was thus totally stoned in the middle of labor. And then when she was pushing and she opened her eyes to look at everyone and we all started laughing.... it was a very special time, one I will never forget - all the way down to the "group hug" I shared with my sister and Stewie (the daddy) when it was all over!

But, eventually our little baby made it and it was over and now we have a new generation in the family. It's kind of a weird feeling from that viewpoint - the new are in, the old are on their way out... but I still can't get past my science-wired brain and I see it all as just the circle of life that everyone always talks about.

Even the "love" we talk about with newborns - it's not love, really. It's a chemical process in the brain that kicks on so that, again... we don't kill our own and we make sure they live so we can propagate as a species.

Now. Having said all of that. What I DO think is that those chemicals ARE the miracle. When I try to explain to people that this is how *I* see god or whatever... when I say "god" is science and nature... well, this is a perfect example. I mean, how else could a woman carry a parasite in her womb for 9 months, rip her vagina wide open to get it out, never pee right again and risk all of that if it wasn't for the strong changes in the brain that allow it to happen? THAT is the miracle. The ability of the body (human, canine, whatever) to give birth in general.

And what I also said when little Addybug popped out: the miracle isn't in the birth; the miracle is in those chemical reactions in the brain that we call "love", that makes you immediately bond to and "love" that little baby. I'd never met that child before she came into the world yet I immediately and intensely loved her and wanted to protect her. Pure human nature and biology and THAT, my dear friends, IS a miracle.