Ahh, PVBs! (Post Vacation Blues)

It is just not possible that our vacation could have been any better or gone anymore smoothly.



Ahh, now it's back to real life. It's okay, though... we had such a great time that it totally motivated me to come back and work even harder to keep this lifestyle! We went to Catalina, went whale watching, ate great food, traveled First Class to and from Mexico, ate more terrific food, did 5 scuba dives, parasailed, rode waverunners (several times) had wonderful drinks, hung out on beautiful beaches and wonderful swimming pools. Our timeshare in Laguna Beach was wonderful as always, and our hotel in Mexico was stunning. I just can't say anything bad about any part of this vacation!



It's going to take me a few days or maybe weeks to get this blog updated but I wanted to post a couple of pictures just for fun. :) The best part was that Steve and I spent every minute of every day together for over two full weeks and not only did we not get into any fights or stupid arguments, we simply loved being in each other's company the whole time. Having had those issues in another life of mine, it was refreshing and wonderful and reiterated to myself how important my decisions have been for my own happiness.

Pictures to follow soon. :)

The Day of Thanks

I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's always been my favorite holiday! This year Steve and I are going all out and having a semi-cajun meal, including our glorious friend, The Tur-duck-hen. Yum! We're also frying a turkey this year - we'll have enough freaking food to feed an army, but that's a good thing cause we'll load most of it up and take it with us to Laguna Beach.

Our vacation starts the day after Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving Day is our One Year Anniversary. We picked that day to get married because it is our favorite day of the year. We've also decided not to celebrate our anniversary on the actual day; rather, we celebrate it on Thanksgiving, no matter what the date happens to be. It just makes more sense to do it that way, because we purposely married each other on that day, not that date.

As I write this, Steven is on a boat, headed to Catalina Island so he can finish his Open Water Dive Certificate. He'll be a certified scuba diver now, so we can start planning trips in the future. I am SO excited!! I know once that boy dips his toes into the warm water of the caribbean, cold water diving will go out the window for him like it did for me. :)

Now that I can say, "vacation starts in less than a week" I am beginning to feel some stress melt away.

That's a really, really good thing. :)

It's starting...

Not that I want to get on my own soapbox, but I've been spouting off for a while now that I'm sick and tired of defending and standing up for women's rights when the younger generations don't give a shit anyway. They'd rather wait for Prince Charming and have massive families instead of taking just a few years of their life to create a universe for themselves and their families, educating themselves and making it possible to take care of themselves and their children in the event their fairy tale comes crashing down sometime later...

That said, now we have a whole catholic child molesting lobby putting pressure on the government regarding abortion; now we are moving towards one of the most discriminatory decisions against women in decades by not allowing insurance to cover the cost of an abortion even in the case of rape or incest (are we surprised it's the catholics pushing for this?) and now? No, no, you don't need those mammograms in your 40s... it's not "worth" all of the false positives.

If any fool out there thinks these are not direct attacks on women, think again. There seems to be an unwinding of the rights that so many women fought and died for in this country and no one seems to want to stop it. Again, it's that generational problem... too tied up in their own lives to realize they are selling their children's rights down the road.

I think I am hearing some yelling over the mammogram thing. Women are saying, "what the fuck?" and that's a good thing. Let's see if the younger generation starts to wake up or not.

Good luck getting your girls into college much less giving them choices in life. Let's just go back to the mentality that women are only good for sex and breeding and their own personal growth does not matter. They should only be subservient to their husbands (who, incidently, will be providing absolutely everything because women will becomes slaves to the household again) and some make believe god and they will be told, "this is enough for your feeble mind."

I'll still be sipping coffee off my porch somewhere deep in the country, not caring.

Prey

This is what happens when wolves attack monkeys:



They get their legs ripped off, their wrists severed... they get mauled.



I laughed so hard when I found this monkey! I just thought it was the funniest thing; poor little toy, all beat up and destroyed. It used to be Riley's favorite monkey!

But we sent it over the Rainbow Bridge.

'Teve

I had to post this picture just because it was so freaking cute. This is Steve in the Xterra with Charlie, Nate's GF's 3 yr old daughter. Charlie LOVES Steve and it's so adorable when she looks at him and says, "teve!" I think he's her first crush. :) She asked him the other night if she could ride in his car with him, even though we weren't going anywhere. So they sat in the garage in the car, making vroom vroom noises, while she "watched t.v." on the GPS.


Charlie is a really cool little kid. She's one of the very few that I really enjoy being around. :)

A Big Kid

In his ever-persistant pursuit of my happiness and saving me from myself, my wonderful husband never gives up on trying to make me laugh. A boring trip to Bed Bath and Beyond is easily turned into play time, and his 6'1 frame reverts back to just a big kid.



I love it when he wears those shorts!!!

Now, get ready... get set....


Juggle!!




Never a dull moment. :)

Creating Your Own World

Being a firm believer in the power of positive thought and intention, I thought I'd post this. I don't get into the cult side of this guy, (Wayne Dyer) but I do believe in this type of thought. This is an excerpt from his website and I found it interesting and appropriate, given my recent decision to increase my writing.

“I’d love to write a book, if I only had the time.” Have you heard someone say this recently, or maybe even said it yourself? Do you really want to write a book or maybe paint or dance or sing or fulfill any creative longing that’s been sitting on the back burner of your life? And is time really the issue? We all have the same number of hours in a day and most of us make decisions about how to spend them. In my movie The Shift, we see a young mother rediscover her love of painting because she gives herself permission to do so. Instead of continuing to assume that her dream is impossible, she asks for the opportunity, the time, she needs and she gets it. Why don’t we do the things we say we want to do? In the vast cornucopia of excuses, not enough time or “I’m too busy,” easily tops the list. But how can a person be too busy to make room for what they love? Thoreau is right in saying that we have nobler faculties we need to pay attention to, in addition to all the other details that occupy our lives. If you fear the part of your soul that’s calling you to a higher place, then you’re probably using the “I’m too busy” excuse. There is time to do what you love when you step back and look at your life from a higher perspective. Make sure that fear, doubt, and unexamined beliefs about yourself and your talents are not the real culprits keeping you from your creative endeavor. Rather than telling yourself you are too busy to pursue an activity you love, use the following affirmation: I intend to take time for myself to live the life that I came here to live.

Namaste,

Wayne

An Odd Comparison

When I first moved out west and learned how conservative it can be, I remember thinking, what the fuck? Isn't this the land of hippies? Isn't everyone 420 tolerant out here?

Little did I know that CA has one of the highest number of gawdy, ridiculously built churches in the freaking country.

I should have just stayed in the south.

A few of my recent FB arguments have revolved around ignorant people. Yes I am being terribly judgmental. But it's hard to keep my mouth shut when someone posts a racial comment and somehow thinks that they are more American than the person they just insulted. Don't get me wrong; I firmly believe in the saying, "I may not like what you have just said but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it".

That does not mean I won't call you out on it if you're being an ignorant racist redneck idiot. Hell, I get accused of being a bitter, pessimistic feminist all of the time, so why should I hold back my opinions? What scares me about these people is that they don't see that they are ignorant racist redneck idiots. At least claim fame to what you are spouting.

I love being a bitter, pessimistic feminist.

And I can call them that because I am a decendent from a long line of ignorant racist redneck idiots. So I can spot 'em when I see 'em. So let me add that to the description, too.

Bitter, pessimistic, feministic, racist, redneck idiot.

(I won't add ignorant because I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my papers and I was free. My doctorate and continued pursuit of education frees me from that description.)

But we are all idiots to some extent.

My point is that we all have our prejudices. But what bothers me, is that people can't seem to accept their differences with others anymore. Everyone wants it their way. Everyone wants it to be within their comfort zone. And a lot of it revolves around religious beliefs. And, as I've stated before, I used to be soooo very tolerant myself, but years of fighting this shitty mindset has me setting my sights on a new direction.

In fact, my most recent argument on FB revolved around someone spouting off that they weren't surprised that the Ft Hood shooter was a muslim. That comment sparked a long argument involving me because I said, "well you know, like it or not, we do have freedom of religion here in the USA." That got me blasted because - and yes this was really stated - muslim idiot fundamentalists are worse than christian idiot fundamentalists.

Huh?

I kept saying, "seriously folks, are we really arguing that one group of religious nutbags is somehow better than another group of religious nutbags?"

And yes, that got me flamed yet again. It was fun though, and enlightening and thought-provoking, in that it made me realize how some people truly see the world.

And it scared the shit out of me.

To Hell With It

I had another thought this morning while I was taking a shower. I had just written the previous post and was thinking about beginning to organize my thoughts for my book. That led me back to thinking about how I've gotten into many - many - discussions and arguments over the last few years over things I've written. That could be something from my blog (which I've been writing for years) or from a conversation on email or maybe one of those world famous facebook arguments that I manage to find myself involved in on more occasions than I can count. I've been told I'm inflammatory and offensive on many occasions, and for a brief stint recently, I felt a little bad about that.

A very brief stint.

I guess it occurred to me that a major part of who I am is a writer. I've been writing all of my life. Blogging is just another extension of that, but I am getting ready to move on to the next level.

That said, the reason for my brief stint of regret was because I admit I have insulted people. But that said... writers are never known for being the sorts of people who sit back and stand down from an argument, who sit back and keep their opinions to themselves, or who worry about how someone else will interpret their meanings. Writers are artists and the interpretation is half of the beauty of art. It is not nor will it ever be my problem if someone interprets my art in a negative way. It likely stems more from something within themselves than from something that truly angered them about my words.

So I will likely never stop pissing people off or, conversely, will likely never censor myself for writing what comes from my heart, soul and mind. Those who take offense - who truly take offense - can kiss my ever loving ass. :)

I'm a writer and I ain't gonna change what I write just to appease the few.

Recent Revelations

I've recently been letting go of some people in my life. It's been one of those cycles where you purge the unwanted and wake up the next day feeling refreshed. I've learned over the years that it's a normal part of life; there are people who stay with you for the entirety, and there are those that exit nearly as soon as they entered. It was a good thing, as I had no respect for these people and I was beginning to realize that my association with them was negative and brought nothing more than chaos to my thoughts. Kinda how I felt when I left my ex. But I digress. Cie la vie.

Lately I've been in the mood to just get rid of things that cause stress for me. That might be people, that might be situations or that might be material things. I've been throwing stuff away, saying goodbye to people I don't like and moving on. It feels really good.

So as I've said for the last several years, the universe always reaches out and takes care of me in subtle ways - but ways that makes me say to myself, "hey, that's an ironic twist, now isn't it?"

I've made some new acquaintances that are very validating to me and my life choices. One is my new friend, A. A career woman, a veterinarian and Child Free. Loves life, owns her own business and is very happy about her decision not to have children. Like me, agrees that the ultimate in selfishness is to have kids in order to fulfill some emptiness within yourself. Can't accuse us of doing that!

Then there is the new blog I follow on here, a veterinarian, a mom, a wife... and happy and successful with all of it. Agnostic and sometimes atheist, she details her exciting life juggling all of these things. I'm pretty sure she's my twin from the milkman and my new obsession is in seeing just what she'll write next. I also love that she is writing a book and belongs to a writing club - something I've never thought about but now that I know about it, plan to pursue. I've started several books in my life and I'm thinking now it's time to start the real book...

The point behind these things is that, for me, these are signs that my life is on the right track, that I've made good decisions and I am not alone in my thoughts or choices. They question things and think on their own, like me.

I guess I am part of a bigger group, after all. The universe handed me these things just as I was beginning to wonder if it was all in my mind.

Anyway, Vet Mom rocks and www.happilychildfree.com just makes me laugh, and my new friend, A, gives me hope and support.

Life is not about new chapters; rather, it's about new words written every single day. And you never know what words you'll write when the dawn comes.

My Best Friend

So when you go up and accept an award and get teary-eyed over it, and you look over at your husband who is watching you, and you see that he has tears running down his cheeks because he's sooo proud of you...

You realize that's what real love is all about.

A Nice Surprise

We've been waiting to hear if some good friends of ours were gonna meet us in Laguna Beach or not - we bought tickets to see Kathy Griffen and in typical Steve Fashion, they are 3rd row seats in the pit which means she can spit on us. :) Our friends hadn't really gotten back to us on it so we thought maybe they were going to stand us up...

Instead, Steve talked to them today and they said, "well, it's a long drive to the beach, and then it's a long drive up to the show, and we'll all be partying and drinking... so how about if we rent a limo for the entire evening so none of us have to drive and we can all relax and have some fun!"

I'm PSYCHED! I've done some limo riding in my lifetime for various events, but never just cuz. Both we and our friends are racing to vacation time because we've all been working so damned hard during this crappy economy that we just want to chill and take a load off.

So an added comfort to my vacation.

One part beach, two parts friend, one part limo = Fun Times. :)

Excitement

Just had to make a note about my countdown:


3 weeks from this moment we will be frying a turkey out on our gorgeous patio that gets more and more beautiful each month as the palm trees grow. I never would have had that patio if I hadn't married Steve. :)

3 weeks and 1 day from this moment we will be driving that wonderful drive to Laguna Beach so we can spend a week at the timeshare. It'll be my 6th year to go there, and I still love it as much today as I did the first time I went. I'd like to buy a second week but then... there are so many other places I want to go... already have our couples massage scheduled for our arrival at the resort. :)


4 weeks and 1 day from this moment, we'll be on a plane, headed to Playa Mujeres to the beautiful, luxury Adults-ONLY exclusive resort in Mexico. Our first international trip together, the first of many more to come. This is a pic I got from the internet of the second story of our suite, complete with a gorgeous view and our own private outdoor hot tub:



Just refocusing after a few days of melancholy. :) Starting to reap some of those benefits to owning our practice and not having kids to worry about. Many, many more trips and fun things on the horizon.

I love it. :)

My Big Sis

So the next in the line up for my Ode to My Beautiful Women is my big sister.


Though more conservative and reserved than I am, she is the personification of my beliefs that women can and should be strong and able to take care of themselves. Blessed with an oops at 18 that we all fell madly in love with (Alisha), she didn't miss a beat of college and graduated on time with her degree. She didn't use children as an excuse to stop her own education and improvement like so many women do. That led to a teaching career that will only end in retirement in a few years. She has molded the minds of future generations with skill and grace for 25 years in a career that has changed many times, from teaching to counseling and now, to being a principal. She's also managed to create a very successful marriage for 27 years despite having the odds stacked against them.

Always the mediator and communicator, my sis has talked me down from many a cliff in my lifetime. She's always listened to my near-insane rants about life and love, helped me through the difficulties of my divorce and shined her love on me when I was lost and trying desperately to find my way through life. She is always there for me with advice (whether I like it or not) and words of wisdom to make me think about things and to help me make the right choices. She was there when I got into vet school and when I graduated from vet school; she was there for my divorce, my second wedding and the Open House of my animal hospital. She just doesn't miss a beat in my life and I want her to know how much she is appreciated.

It was about 12 years ago when I surprised her with a trip to TX - I took a flight in without her knowing and snuck up to her house late one night - I wanted to surprise her so I could be there when she received her Master's Degree. It was such a huge event in our lives! She was the first in our entire family to obtain an advanced degree and it was so important that I be there. I would not have missed that for the world and I am SO proud of her to this day!

Smart, beautiful, educated and successful. Just the right combo to be My Hero.

I love my big sis. Even when she spits on me. And, a picture is worth a thousand words - that eyebrow has more meaning than you can imagine. :)


And, yes, I'll always remember The Tree. :)


Let us not forget the bet, shall we, sis? :)

The SCUBA Adventure

I first became SCUBA certified when I was a mere 22 years old. It was back in the day when I was young and brave and didn't have a clue about actual death. I didn't care that I was single and didn't have a friend or a dive buddy with me during the class; I signed up, and learned to do what I'd always wanted to do... see the world that most people will never see.

So, right out of college and paid for by my very first "real" job, I took a PADI certification class. It was so long ago that I can't remember much about it! But I do remember thinking it was the coolest thing ever and boy was I hooked. The only problem, at the time, was that after paying for the class, I realized I was too broke to 1.) afford any of my own dive gear and 2.) afford to go on a dive trip! And, since I was living in SW La at the time, there weren't too many fun places to dive.

A few years later, after I moved to CA for the first time, I signed up to take another dive course. I figured it had been a few years since I got my first C-card, so a refresher and the opportunity for some real diving presented itself. This time around, I signed up for a NAUI open water course through Fullerton Junior College.

It was the absolute best way to learn to dive, especially considering that out here, we cold water dive in full wetsuit, hood to keep our heads warm, gloves, etc. No sissy diving in CA. But what was so great about taking that course at the JC level was that I got many more practice hours in than most people do! It made me the safe, experienced diver that I am today. I live and breath the NAUI mantra of "Dive Safety Through Education". And, because I learned to cold water dive first, it made warm water diving seem like a freaking walk in the park. Yeah!

My Certification Cards: (C-cards)



So my SCUBA diving career spans almost 18 years. 18 YEARS!!! Incredible. I hold a dual certification with both NAUI and PADI and an Advanced Diver Certification through NAUI. I am so proud of those things! There was a time in my life when I had planned to go all the way through Master Dive and Rescue Diver but life, time and money got in the way.

Plus I discovered that I wasn't able to save someone from the surf in CA. Better not call on me to get you out of the waves. :)

Sooooooo.... the reason I am writing this post... is because for many, many years, one of the biggest issues between me and my ex was my diving. Not so much because I was obsessed with it, but because we didn't share it together as a passion. I've been on waaaayy too many dive trips by myself. So when Steve told me he was totally into the thought of really getting into SCUBA, I jumped on it....

It starts with taking your very first Open Water Certification class, which he is currently doing. Of course that also starts the ever-so-much fun retail therapy option of buying new gear.


And then there is the pool time, where you learn your skills and get comfortable with breathing underwater. It definitely is something your brain has to adjust to - because believe me, it doesn't matter that you are breathing; you're still under water and your mind tells you that you can't breathe, so re-training your thought process is vital to your enjoyment and ability to dive. It simply takes time and experience to get good at it.


Yesterday we went down to Sport Chalet to spend even more moolah, because that's what we do - and I found a GREAT sale! I got shorty wetsuits for both myself and for Steve, each for $40. I was psyched!!

So SCUBA Steve is on his way and we, as a married couple, are on our way to developing this lifestyle together. Yes, being a diver is a lifestyle.

It just makes me happy. :)

Prehistoric Pleasure

We made ribs last week and Riley stood in the kitchen, waiting beside the stove while they were slow cooking, whining. Then he stepped it up a notch or two during the grilling cycle and was yelling at Steve, saying he *really* wanted some of those ribs...

Now, given the fact that he's almost 14 and has only about half as many teeth as he used to have, he can't chew anything hard like bones anymore... I gave in. No worries about foreign body obstruction in him! So Steve "specially" cooked a whole rib just for Mup, without sauce or a lot of seasoning.

The dog went Wolf on us! But I have to admit, I got an extreme amount of pleasure watching my little doglet chow down on that rib like it was the best thing he's ever eaten.


I love it when they pin something down with their paw and devour it. Since Mup's little paw is only about 1.5 inches across, I just find it adorable.

He already gets his own specially cooked steak whenever we grill steaks. Now he'll get his own rib, too.



Anyone who knows me knows that I love this dog with all of my being. There will be no replacing him; there was never one quite like him before he came into my life and I know there will never be another to fill the place in my heart that only he occupies. He made my life better the second I met him and when he is gone, the only comfort I will find is in the fact that I have given him the absolute best life and the best care that he could possibly have gotten.

He is the doggy love of my life.

An Unbelievable Stereotype

Last Saturday as Steve and I were enjoying our more-often-than-not Korean BBQ lunch after work, we witnessed something that definitely caused "are you shitting me?" to come out of both of our mouths.

Our favorite restaurant has a huge parking lot. We noticed this truck drive through the lot, circle around again, then settle at the farthest end of the lot. There were 4-5 men in this truck. 3 of them got out, and started walking towards the restaurant. OK, actually, they were walking towards our new car, and in our egocentric mind, we thought they were going to steal it. That was short lived as they walked right past it. :)

They got closer and closer to the restaurant. I saw that one of the guys pulled out a huge knife - like, a huge butcher knife. I sort of yelled out, "He's got a knife!" I honestly thought they were about to jump someone, rob someone or get into some sort of altercation. I got scared about what I was about to witness!

But they didn't.

Since you cannot fathom the stupidity and audacity of idiots like this, Steve and I looked at each other and said, "Maybe they're the landscapers?" The reason we thought this was because right at that moment, these 3 men stopped in front of the 6 foot tall beautiful cactus that was growing right outside the window of this restaurant and started hacking off the leaves. Now mind you, these cactus are owned by the business, are very large and gorgeous. They can also be eaten but it was not a public garden free-for-all.

It was at that moment when we both realized they weren't the landscapers - they were actually stealing the darned cactus! Chopping down someone else's property, right there in broad daylight, for all of us in the restaurant to witness.

So Steve jumped up to tell the restaurant owners, who then ran outside and got into a screaming match with these guys. We were all watching from inside, waiting and worrying that something bad would happen. Those guys had big knives.

Then, as if it wasn't expected, the owners called the cops and the 3 guys took off running. Their getaway truck also left them! One of the owners took off running after one of the guys and at that point, Steve ran outside, got into our truck and went after them, too. Thank goodness - the owners are women and we were worried they'd get hurt.

In the end, Steve and the owner found the truck parked down the road, got the license plate and gave it to the cops, who then caught the guys in the truck. We don't know what happened to the rest of them, but we hope that they got into some sort of trouble for... um, stealing? Damaging private property? Who knows.

So yes, "are you shitting me?" was definitely coming out of our mouths because we just could not believe what we saw. The crooks told the owners of the restaurant that they were stealing the cactus to eat - why? Because they were too freaking cheap or lazy to pay $1 for a bag of nopales at the local grocery store? They weren't starving - they were far from skinny and they drove a pretty big, nice truck.

It's these kinds of changes to our society - the blatant lack of respect for other's property, the common sense when it comes to simple kindness and appreciation for beauty of nature - that is causing me to dislike this country even more. The fact that there was no conscience in this situation made me want to vomit.

I don't want to live in a trash dump where stupid people who breed just take whatever they want, whenever they want.

Do you?

Halloween Fun

One of my awesome girls at work organized our First Annual Halloween Extravaganza this past weekend and boy was it fun! We laughed, talked, got to know each other, mets parents and siblings, ate great food and of course, carved pumpkins. I had to admit that it was my first - yes, my first - time to ever carve a darned pumpkin. I was a pumpkin carving virgin! But I have since become enlightened and learned how my, um, surgical skills, can serve me in the world of tedious crafting as well.



Of course I had to pick a stupid pattern that took longer than almost anyone else, just because I thought it looked cool. But it came out great!




And, yes, my big teddy bear husband carved his own pumpkin and did so with flying colors.




So of course, we also had to have a pic of the whole bunch, which I thought was too cool!



Steve's is the one with the huge eyes right below mine.

So much positivity in my life, so much to appreciate and adore... I just can't complain. :)

Just had to mention...

It's kind weird for me to think of Steve's kids as step kids, esp. since they are (for the most part) grown ups and adults. But his daughter Nicole said something to me the other day that made me so happy and proud... if I could have had a kid, it would have been her.

Nicole had her little boy during her last year of pharmacy school. On her way to becoming a doctor and a little surprise came along. She still finished school with flying colors and is doing great. Now she's a single mom with a new house and a beautiful baby and a career that is about to take off. And she's only 28.

She mentioned that the reason she chose education and a career was so she could take care of herself and her children on her own, no matter what.

It's what I've preached for years, except I haven't known Nicole long enough to have influenced her thought in that direction. No, that would be the work of her mom and dad. But they did a great job.

And she proved that I am not the only one who feels that way - that education and the ability to take care of yourself and your children on your own is so important. It's not because we are negative or that we don't believe that it should be within the family realm with a mommy and a daddy, but because it's the right way to be.... if you can't even support yourself or take care of yourself, or if you've never even lived on your own and done those exact things, how on earth is it that you think you're going to be the best parent ever? You can't teach your kids what you don't know yourself.

Congrats, Nicole. I'm so proud of you.

No Donations Please

I realized that my mindset truly is changing when I got my annual request for a donation to NARAL (Pro Choice Group) this past week. I looked at it, almost grabbed my checkbook... and then realized I didn't want to donate anymore. Not because I can't, but because I won't.

It's not my battle anymore.

Best of luck to the younger generation on keeping your rights as women, esp. with a growing movement to ban abortion even in cases of rape or incest. It's easy to support that until it's your daughter. But most of all, good luck to your daughters who will be the ones who pay for your apathy.


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

New Ride

Most people who know me, know I'm not a big fan of cars. In fact, I usually become physically ill when buying a new car. There's just something about throwing that much money down the tubes that really gets to me. Everyone knows that a car is the worst investment in the world, as it depreciates the second you drive it off the lot.

But, my old Rodeo was finally getting tired. She was 7 years old and the first car I ever bought right out of vet school. The transmission and brakes were starting to wear... and it was time to start thinking about a new car. And, on the day we made the decision to actually buy a new one, the heater went out. It was a sign from above.

It took me weeks - I mean, WEEKS - just to find one I liked. It made Steve crazy. I looked at cheap cars, luxury cars, hybrids, SUVs, trucks... I just haven't been impressed by many. I test drove a Honda Insight, a Nissan Rogue, a fancy schmancy Honda S 2000; I dreamed of a Pontiac Solstice until I drove one. I looked at luxury SUVs - I used to really like the Infinity FX but now I think they are the ugliest cars on the road AND a waste of money (they look like ugly little VW Bug wannabes - no offense to people who drive them. What did they do to that car?? I used to love - or did my tastes just change?) and there was no way I was going to pay $50K for a piece of crap car. That includes the BMW and Lexus also.

I considered American Made but my god, they are ridiculously expensive for what you get! So then I kept thinking I'd just go cheap and get a little Kia Sportage 4WD just to have something I could drive around town but still have 4WD for when we go to Yosemite or the desert or whatever. But just to get what I'd want, I'd still have spent almost $30K! I was becoming disheartened.

I also considered just fixing the darned Rodeo and to hell with the car dealerships.

Then I drove a Nissan Xterra. I really liked it! It was beefy and tall and drove like a dream. So after a while, I decided that's what I'd like to get - the price was right, it came in 4WD and it was a nice car.

Except.... then we discovered we couldn't find one. Oh yes, there are many Xterras out there, but they are all 4x2s! And the FEW 4WDs that we could find were in the base models! Hello, I'd like to have a FEW nice things if I'm going to fork over a bunch of money.

Steve and I searched dealerships all over SoCal for a few weeks and FINALLY found one in Redlands. Yes, over an hour away. The only problem was that it was the Off Road version and I wasn't so sure about that. In my mind we were originally getting the SE in 4WD. BUT - after more research, we found out the Off Road had some features we really liked, and it also just so happened that this particular one had a few extras and it came in white - the color I like.

So off went went! It's amazing how easy it is to buy a car when you're 1.) a small business owner and 2.) have a credit score that is sky high. The entire deal was done in an hour. Signed, sealed and delivered.

Now if Steve and I could just stop bartering for who gets to drive the car next... :)

The Lighter Side

On a lighter note, we'll be home this evening so we can watch the LSU vs FL football game. Cooking shrimp gumbo and hot wings and enjoying a fall evening by the tube!

I've been a jogger all of my life but I have times when I just get away from it for a while. I tend to hurt myself when I start back into it, so this time I decided to follow the couch-to-5K plan and see if my knee holds up better. It takes 8-9 weeks but they guarantee you'll be running 3 miles at a time, a few times a week by the time you finish. We'll see. I just finished the first week and it was super easy and so far, no knee pain!

Going to Mitchell Caverns tomorrow - never been so should be great fun! They're some cool caverns where you'd never expect caverns to be - out in the middle of the Mojave Preserve. Yeah!

Steve is working on his PADI certification so we can SCUBA dive together! I'm soooo excited about that... diving has been a big passion of mine for 20 years and I'm absolutely thrilled to finally be married to someone who will dive with me!

I found out yesterday that our local Humane Society nominated me for an award - I'll be named Veterinarian of the Year for our small town! It's not that big of a deal, but I'll get an announcement and a fancy schmancy award at a banquet dinner coming up. Exciting. :)

The prison dog training program is in gear, and I should get to go on my first visit soon. I'm so excited to participate in the education of these people who just have the wrong ideas and the wrong education about pets. THAT will be a first for me and should prove to be rewarding and interesting. Hope there isn't a riot that day. :)

Otherwise just getting ready for our vacation. Leaving Nov. 26 and already have trips to Catalina lined up, a Kathy Griffen show, friends staying with us at the timeshare for a few days, etc. Then off to Mexico for several days of R&R and diving. Yeah!

We're planning to fry a turkey for Thanksgiving so anybody who wants to show up, feel free. :)

The Catholic Joke

I've been feeling especially political lately, despite my attempts to let it go and just watch the world pass me by while I live out my life. But I read an article yesterday that set me on fire again, as it pertains directly to the last blog I wrote.

The article was about some catholic bishops who were lobbying the government, saying that they were threatening to pull their support for the health care bill unless the parts about abortion were removed. Seems the pedophiles want the health care bill to pass only if it denies abortion to women. All abortion. Even in the case of rape or incest. WHAT???

Um, excuse me? Did I hear you right? Not only do you bunch of creeps who rape children because oh, let's see... masturbation and sex with women is forbidden... you can't be normal men in any other direction so you prey on the weak... now you want to act like you have a SAY in something as important as health care? Go show your face in your NAMBLA groups so we can arrest you, please.

Yeah, this is exactly what I was talking about in my last blog. THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

Another VERY important aspect of this? THE CHURCH IS TAX EXEMPT. Yes, many of you do not even know that, but the good ol' churches out there do not pay taxes. That was *supposed* to be because there was a separation of church and state in this country, guaranteed by our constitution. But now it seems all these religious nutbags wanna have it both ways.

They want nothing more than to have women stay in their petty little roles of male subservience and to have no access to birth control. Yes, women in their world (because, remember, they don't fuck women, they fuck little kids) are nothing more than broodmares.

Suffice it to say I have extreme hatred and distrust of ALL of catholicism. It's usually that the few ruin it for the many, but in the case of that religioun, the many ruin it for the few. That is one corrupt, disgusting, fucked up group of nasty old men trying to judge others and tell them how to live their lives. And people fall for it!

So as I said before, if the next generation doesn't get these things, people like those Bishops will get their way and rights will erode. When the church gets into the debate on health care and their one goal - their one goal - is to make abortion illegal and unattainable, then the premises of freedom for women will be gone. There is a reason why it's one of the longest and largest debates of this country. And believe me, your birth control pills will be next.

And I'll be sitting on my ranch in Colorado sipping coffee from the porch and laughing.

Evolution of an Activist

Every so often in life you find yourself at the crossroads of sudden change: it might be something simple, like all of a sudden you like sushi when you would never have touched it before. Maybe you'll decide to have a baby. Or, maybe it's something much more in depth, like a divorce... either way, it'll be a change of direction from which you cannot return, and making that choice could be funny and easy or it could be life threatening and huge.

I'm feeling the winds of change in my life recently and it's scary for me. But I think I'm welcoming it in a big way.

I've always been the activist in my family. Hippie-esque, somewhat green and granola, always fighting for someone else's plight, even if sometimes it's only in my mind. I've been confrontational for most of my life and have always welcomed any argument where good debate and intelligent conversation could overrule being angry.

I've been a member of NOW, NARAL, League of Women's Voters, the Democratic Party; I've read books written by my heroes and I've read the books by those I despise just so I'd understand their point of view (like stupid IDIOTS like Laura Schlessinger, Rush Limbaugh) I've stood up for and argued for Women's Rights, Abortion Rights, and education for little girls. I am a member of the ACLU. I believe birth control for ALL WOMEN should be a RIGHT and abortion should be accessible and PRIVATE. I do not believe the stupid fucking bible belongs in any woman's bedroom unless she WANTS it there.

Yes I am a liberal. A MODERATE liberal. I do not believe in gun control because I would shoot any asshole who comes into my house unannounced and try for his head cause I don't want him walking back out and getting away.

But, I'm getting older. I'm finding that the things I've always stood for - and my integrity is intact because if I believe in something, I will stand by my belief no matter what as compared to many people who don't even have true beliefs - but what I've found, unfortunately, is that I have been fighting battles for others who simply do not give a shit.

I've preached about the importance of women getting an education my whole life, but now I find that the next generation is, for the most part, stupid. They want to shit out babies like candy instead of opening their eyes, limiting their family size, educating themselves and making themselves better people, better citizens and above all, better PARENTS. Childbearing is an impulse decision nowadays, just like everything else in this society. It's a "want" and not a "need". They look for Prince Charming to make their dreams come true and think the life they have now will look the same in 10 years. There is NO concept of the fact that what they have now - the ability to vote, the ability to have a voice, the ability to CHOOSE to have kids - is a direct result of generations fighting for those exact rights and choices. These women do not go to college, they do not vote, they do not stand for anything. They resent feminism as if it's something to hate instead of embracing it and realizing the only reason they are where they are now by choice is directly because of feminism. It's a disgrace to those who went before us.

They have NO understanding of the concept that - ignorance about history condemns those to repeat it - which means there is a huge chance that their daughters will lose their rights some day. And they won't be able to stop it because they were too busy not caring when they should have been continuing the fight.

It just makes more sense to me to fight for your kids, if nothing else. Hell, if I had kids, I'd be a HUGE activist! I'd be fighting for women's rights so I could make sure my daughter had access to higher education; I'd be fighting for abortion rights so my daughter would always have privacy and the ability to make decisions about her own body (whether I agree with abortion or not!) I'd be GREEN and drive cars that don't use any gas so I could contribute to THEIR future world, and above all I'd make sure I could practice what I preach, which means education.

There was a time in my life when I was planning to have kids. And I REFUSED to have Disney in my house! My kids would NOT have watched that crap. Disney teaches little girls about fairy tales and saviors but does not teach them about respect, independence and education. I still feel that way today. THINK about the messages their impressionable little minds are receiving!!!

It makes me sad, but as I said... I'm sick of fighting for it. I don't care anymore. Hell, I don't even have any kids!! So these women are on their own now - and oh yes they are losing their voice because I am not the only one who feels this way - and they will get the life they deserve. It makes me very sad, but it is what it is.

I probably SHOULD have had a kid so I could help dilute out all of the ignorance being bred out there! Ahhh, well.... the dumbing down of America is a proven fact and it's becoming more and more evident every day. I can't stop it. But I also refuse to care anymore.

So my point is that I am becoming more conservative and less caring about these things because I am simply sick and tired of fighting for people who just don't care to fight for themselves.

They absolutely 100% deserve the world they will get.

And you know what? I'll be retired and settled and won't have to worry about anyone else and I'll like it that way. I'm going to move to Idaho with my husband, buy a gas-guzzling vehicle instead of an electric car, use as much water as I want, won't care about the amount of hormones in my food, won't send money into organizations that keep fighting our current government in attempts to keep our rights intact. (doubt that? The Patriot Act is a direct violation of our constitution) I even turned down a call this week from my annual NARAL group - I won't even support them anymore, despite being so strongly pro-choice that it makes some people puke.

It makes me sad to think this way, but women today don't drive electric cars, they don't conserve water, they don't fight to keep their rights.... so why should I? I can't care more about their kid's future than they do.

I'm off to enjoy my new gas guzzler, water my grass in the desert and I'm having some beef for dinner from cows that were fed too many hormones.

But at least I understand where those choices are taking America. And I'll be gone when the next generation realizes their loss.


P.S. I have to add how PROUD I am of my niece who, while I know she has baby fever badly and wants kids... is finishing her RN degree soon! She listened. I guess her mom's and my prodding over the years about educating yourself BEFORE having kids sunk in. She'll be highlighted soon in my Ode to My Beautiful Women blogs. :)

Poor Vet

Mr A. came in to the animal hospital yesterday with his dog that had been in a bad fight a few days earlier. The skin on the face had that hue that I am all too familiar with, the obvious sign of devitalized tissue and necrotic flesh just below the surface. The doggy was running a high fever, was very lethargic and just looked like she felt like total crap. I felt so sorry for her. She didn't even move as I probed the wounds and evaluated what I knew was going to be a long road to recovery.

The healer in me thought, "Yes! A big wound treatment! I can provide supportive care, daily flushes and debridements, and the necessary surgeries to remove dead tissue and close the defect created by the rotting flesh. I can use my magical sugar/betadine treatment and I know I can make this dog heal and go on to live a happy doggy life!"

The business person in me thought, "Yes! Hospitalization for several days, a lot of physical labor to manage the wounds, at least two surgical debridements and countless medications to keep her free from sepsis during the healing phase. Great income for the clinic!"

Mr A told me during the exam that he lost his job, his house and now his wife. He was out of money.

The human and friend in me thought, "There is no way I can make this person feel guilty for not being able to afford what I know MUST happen to get this dog to heal."

So I recommended we put her to sleep instead. It alleviated her suffering, it alleviated his added stress and removed the always-present issue of not being able to afford the necessary treatment to heal his pet.

I am most definitely going to go broke. My dad did predict this years ago when he told me I'd be the "poorest" vet he knows because I have far too much compassion when it comes to people and animals.

He was right.

Ode to My Beautiful Women

I wanted to start an "Ode to the Wonderful Women in my Life" blog and felt the most perfect place to start would be with the newest generation of them. My brother had his first baby a year and a half ago after many years of trying and many medical visits. They were finally blessed with a beautiful baby girl who, apparently, is now giving the world absolutely hell!

I would have never posted pictures of my baby girl on here until she was older but since her mommy has her face on Facebook, I figured it would be ok. :)

The next generation of strong, spicy, intelligent, precocious, independent hellion women:




I can't decide who she looks more like, so I'll say she's the perfect mix of my brother, his wife Peggy, my sister Donna and me. It was a long time in between the birth of Alisha, who is now 25, and Jonalee, who is almost 2, since I decided a few years back that I didn't want kids, and my sister decided she was NOT going to have more than one! So Jonalee was a welcomed addition to the family.

The daredevil in her and my brother trying desperately to keep her safe:


The look that will either slay you or make you tremble in fear. Ha!!! I cannot express how much I love the fact that she has the little gaps in her teeth just like her daddy. Just makes my heart melt!


It's good to have you here, beautiful baby girl. And I'll always be the liberal nanny who lives out west where you'll want to visit when you hit your rebellious teens. :) Your dad will protest but you'll come visit anyway. And I'll make sure you get to college and find your independence before you get married and have babies. I know your mommy and daddy agree. That's what Nannys are for. :) (If you're not careful daddy might not even let you date - ever!! :))

Baby Boy Ian and Baby Boy Rohan are here, too, but that'll have to be for another blog. :)

Future Opps

I've been working on the veterinary school applications/recommendation letters for my two girls at work for the last few days and it's so much fun! But it's so much work. And, as I'm writing these letters, I'm realizing how proud I am of these girls! They are mini-me's. Smart, college degrees, intelligent decisions about their futures, and now applications for vet school. And it's soooo much fun to re-live this experience through their eyes!

So very few people - eh hum, dare I say, women - get the chance to pursue this career. Many *say* they want to do it, but the bottom line is very few have the guts much less ability to actually pursue it. This is one field where saying you want to do it is definitely not in the same universe of actually doing it. When I think about all that I went through to get where I am today, I realize how truly unique and privileged we veterinarians are.

We are doing what very few get to do. We are healers to those who cannot speak for themselves.

Ok so what I'm getting at, that may or may not seem important to those not in my field, is that there is a chance I will get to become the Humane Society vet for the local juvenile detention dog training program. Yes, little kids who are in trouble, underprivileged, uneducated and probably hurting on many levels, have been enrolled via the Humane Society to help train dogs so they can be more adoptable. My role would be not only to be responsible for the medical care of these wonderful doggies, but to help educate these kids on responsible pet ownership.

I would get to influence these underprivileged, troubled kids in a good way, using my doctorate.

What else can you ask for? One of the most rewarding, specialized, unique careers in the world and get to help underprivileged kids at the same time?

Come on, top that. :)

Perspective

It occurred to me today that, even though I've owned my hospital for nearly 2 years, I am actually only just now claiming ownership of it. I'm not sure quite how to explain this, but I'll try. It used to be that I was fairly strict on some of my rules. I now see that it was an attitude that I inherited by being an associate and not an owner. I would complain if I had to do a spay or maybe a dental on a Saturday, or if I had to accommodate a client in some manner that annoyed me. It was definitely not my thing to go to people's houses and do things like euthanasia; that was tech work and I didn't go to school for 9 years for that!

But now, I find myself seeing the world more and more from my client's point of view. I want to be there for them when they need me. Or, at least, I sure am trying hard to do that. If a client now tells me they work hard all week and can only do that dental next Saturday, well then we'll get it done next Saturday.

Today I had the grumpiest owner in the world come in with his dog who had a sore on her foot. I'd seen her in May and the sore was not there then. The first thing out of his mouth was that he TOLD me about it in MAY but I didn't DO anything about it. I reminded him that was nearly 5 months ago and he should have come back in before now! Either way, I convinced him xrays were needed and he agreed. What I found was a mangled, nasty looking toe. Talked to him again and then had my tech go into the room with an estimate for a toe amputation.

Next I hear, he not only wants to remove the toe, but he wants ONLY ME to do it. Uh huh, no part time or relief doc will do; he wants to wait until I am in the office so I can do it and no one else.

So I gave in and told him I'd stay late today, on Saturday, and do that surgery for his dog. Never mind my lunch plans with friends; this guy and his doggy needed me.

That's what I mean - the old me would have scheduled it for next week; the new me just wanted to help this guy and his dog.

Not to say I don't have days when I still vent and I still get angry and defensive; but all in all, how can you take offense or get angry when a client only wants you? Another client of mine got really mad when he came in for an exam for his dog only to discover I was on vacation. Boy did we hear about that one! He was pissed! So at first I was defensive and got angry and responded in kind, but then I thought about it and realized... how could I be mad because he requested to see me and didn't get to see me and was therefore angry because of that?

I should have been flattered.

I could make the argument that the depression in the state of CA (yes it is a depression, not a recession) is causing me to be more humble and more open to doing things I wouldn't have done before, but that's not it. It's not that I'm feeling humble and bowing my head over these things; in fact, I'm proud as hell that we are providing such good customer service and surviving this evil, awful economy. I still won't do a C Section, (I do spays, not c-sections) I still won't crop ears or do other things just because an owner wants me to do it. I give the core vaccines every 3 years because it's the best thing to do, and I require exams every single year for all of my patients. I'm proud of these things because it means I truly care about my patients and I'm not just in it for the money.

If the universe sees fit that I am not supposed to stay in this place and that the depression will bring about the failure of my business, then I'll leave it with the knowledge that I gave it my best and didn't compromise my values for anything, especially not for money.

And my anus will stay intact. :)

Child Free Revisited

I'm posting this blog again (from Myspace) because I had a conversation with a friend this week about kids and it made me think about it. He is 61 years old and he and his wife chose many years ago not to have them - his belief, based on a lifetime of traveling the world and experiencing life in a manner that very few will shadow, is that the overpopulation of the world is one of the baselines for all of the societal ills that plague us, and the current situation of the U.S. is that *no one* stops and thinks about this before having more than one kid. We do it because we can and because we want to fill some selfish, inner void instead of using education, self-discovery and self-improvement to fullful ourselves. Either way, he's childfree, someone I very much admire, and WE AGREE.

I've definitely chilled on worrying about it. I'm 40 now, not having any kids, and I'm still thrilled about it to this day. Again, mommies just never seem happy to me, despite their repeated attempts to convince me that *it's the greatest thing ever*.

So here's the old post:


Everyone who knows me knows I have been struggling with the decision to have a kid or not. I think I've about decided NOT to do it. Sure, my body is telling me "Idiot! You're running out of time! You'd better do it now!" but my mind just isn't there. I love my solitude. I love being spontaneous. And I LOVE that a lot of people I know who have kids, are finished raising them and are joining me in the ranks of freedom once again. (i.e. they had their kids in their early twenties)

I've talked to at least 10 people in the last several months about the whole thing and I've met several women who, like me, choose to be Child Free. (I LOVE that term!) I have a very deep suspicion that there is a big secret kept by those with kids that having them isn't necessarily as great as it's made out to be. I RARELY hear how great the whole experience has been... more often than not, what I hear is "well, I'm glad I had him/her, but I sure am glad he's/she's grown now and I'm done! Life is all about me now!" I'm not kidding. I can't count the people I know who stopped at one and say that they love their kid but if they could do it all over again... NOT.

Which leads me to my theory about having kids in your twenties - much smarter than waiting because, hey, in my book, ignorance is bliss. You'll never know what you're missing out on if you have them when you're young! Wait until you're thirty-something like me, and you start to see that decision in a whole new light. So yea, have 'em when you're young and dumb. :)

I remember being 25, young at heart, very much in love with my new husband, and wanting to have kids - badly!! I honestly believe that is biology doing its job - if you didn't feel that way, we may never procreate! But as we got older, our views on that changed. Marriages change. That lusty, powerful, all-encompassing passion you feel early on changes... and then you're stuck with yourself all over again. It happens to everyone, no matter how in love they think they are when they first marry.

I recently read an article in WIRED magazine. They had a survey on things to do to remain happy - and one of the top things to do to keep yourself happy and healthy in life is to NOT have kids! Also, in support of what I said above, stats show that the ones having the kids in the world are in their twenties - we thirty-somethings decide otherwise.

Instead, I think I'm going to own dogs, travel with my friends and family, take LOTS of free solitude time, stay healthy, volunteer for charity and the like.

The idea of having to take care of another human being for something like, 25 years, is just too much for me. Do you realize how expensive college will be by the time they're there???

Nah, I'll keep my retirement and spend it on myself. :)

This would be exactly why I bought my own veterinary practice. This was written in July, 2007.



I'm so introspective and stuck in analysis paralysis these days that I want to vomit. I talk to my best girlfriends ALL of the time regarding the Emotions of Divorce. Hey! ED! Is there any relation to the Emotions of Divorce and Erectile Dysfunction? I don't know. Hell, it's 6am right now. :)

I'm on a wild roller coaster ride. I have great days and terrible days. Really not any in-between. I melt down over little things, like not getting to the grocery store on the days when I planned to go, or not getting enough laundry done on my day off.

The hardest part for me is letting go of my financial status. I went from having several thousand dollars per month at my disposal to being house-poor, lucky to have grocery money left over after paying the mortgage. Part of that is my fault - I bought this house from my ex and rolled a good chunk of my debt into it - which is fine, except that with the crappy housing market like it is, even my house-on-the-hill ain't worth much. So I have to hunker down and ride out the storm, so that when the sun shines again, I can make a buck or two.

I have another quote that I love, that jumped out in front of me the other day when I was thinking about selling my house and renting an apartment so I wouldn't be so broke all of the time. It went something like this:

"You can't see what's in front of you if you are constantly looking behind you."

Okay, so time to let go of my marriage for real, and stop pining for a life that I never had anyway. If money was what kept me in that place, then it's time I listen to some advice AGAIN that was given to me long before I even went to vet school:

"Do what you love and the money will come."

Do you think that applies to the Lotto, too? I mean, shit, I love scratch-offs. :)

Education of the Female Mind

Written July, 2007 and I still believe it to be true to this day.




For all of you girls out there who actually read my blog, I want you to listen to this, and listen to it hard:

My education is what kept me afloat during this divorce. I didn't have to fight for alimony or argue about possessions. I was able to turn around and buy my house outright, with NO argument from the bank for a fat mortgage. I have a credit score in the 800s. If I walked into a car dealership right now, I could finance just about anything I wanted, no questions asked.

My point? Get your lazy asses into school. Figure out a way to support yourself, even if you don't have to utilize it at this point in your life. Things change throughout the years and life has this funny way of ripping your comfort zone right out from under you, when you LEAST expect it. I promise - it is never a bed of roses forever and if you don't plan for a rainy day, you're going to regret it.

So do what you need to, to set yourself up. Get an education. Then you can choose - REALLY CHOOSE - whoever you want and whatever you want in life. You don't have to make any decisions that don't suit you just because someone else is picking up the tab.

I get a certain amount of ego-boosted relief from the realization that at this point in my life, meeting a man who actually makes more money than me would be difficult. It's like I made it as an independent woman and that can never be taken away from me.

I wish all of the women in my life could experience that feeling!

Was GW a Sith?

HEHE!! I had to re-post this one, cause I think it's damned funny. :)


Saturday, November 18, 2006

Something interesting noted....

Category: News and Politics

I was watching one of the Star Wars movies this week (for the millionth time) and I caught something that was said, that I think is filled with truth. I also forget which great Jedi said the response, (I was more intrigued by the content) it was probably Obi Wan but it went something like this:

"If you are not with me, then you are my enemy" (I think Senator Palpatine said it?)

The reply to this was:

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

The Siths are the evil dark side beings that the Jedi battle throughout the whole series. What I found interesting was that this was an older movie, out before Bush was in office, and yet those words hold a lot of familiarity. Remember when he said, "if you're not with us, you're against us!"????

I think it means GW is a SITH!!!! OH MY!!! I always knew it. :)

Another oldie...

I wrote this blog back in 2006, ironically only a week or two before my ex and I decided to split up. Amazing how things work out, and how the universe continues to take care of me. I still believe in the power of positive thought to this day, and that tapping into your creative processes can do more for healing your body and spirit than anything external.



Saturday, November 25, 2006

Intent?

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

I've been reading a book called "The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer. It's a very interesting book. If you think about Star Wars, and The Force - that pretty much sums it up! Okay, so it's not that cheesy... but it is about the power of positive thought and how important it is to maintain positivity. Basically if you have good thoughts and visualize a rich, abundant future, then that is what you will draw to you. If you focus on the negative, then alternatively, that is what you will get.

Just last week I was visualizing a Krispy Kreme donut before work, and guess what??? When I got there, a pharmaceutical rep brought in a whole box! I saw it in my mind and I made it happen. :)

Seriously - I've never been a religious person and don't plan to start anytime soon. I despise organized religion. God, for me, has always been in nature and in the natural beauty of everything. Intent, according to Dr. Dyer, is the underlying energy that flows through everything - energy that, in theory, is all part of one big picture. This energy can be considered the Creative Source - God, if you will. If you are able to free your mind and tap into it, then the possibilities in your life are endless simply because you are pulling positive energy into your life.

It's the religion of quantum mechanics, in a way. Perfect for us science geeks. :)

Sounds a little like Luke and Aniken, right? :) If you look around and open your mind, you'll start to see that there is talk about this unseen force everywhere. I'm finding this extremely intriguing! I think this is one of the answers that I've been looking for - and I think this because when I look back on my journey to becoming a vet, I realize that when I was trying to get into vet school, all I could see was graduating and being a doctor. I just couldn't stomach anything else - and I now realize that I made it happen by opening up my mind, which led to more creativity - i.e. it gave me more ideas on what I needed to do in order to succeed. I've been tapping into this unseen force long before I knew I was doing it.

Part of the theory is that if you are closed to the creative source, you will remain stagnant, lacking ideas and creativity that propel you forward to success. If you open your mind to it, your creative ideas flow more freely, thus bouncing ideas in and out of your brain in an attempt to create in reality what you see in your imagination.

Think it's hokie? Well just remember those Krispy Kreme donuts... and the fact that I am a doctor after all. :)

(I'll probably post more on this as I evolve)

Brad Pitt, My New Hero

**Disclaimer: The following post is inflammatory and might offend some of my readers. It's about my personal opinions and is not an attack on anyone, so don't send me any hate emails after you read it or else I'll accuse you of exactly what I wrote about.



I was watching an interview with Brad Pitt and Bill Maher and I decided that I now idolize Brad Pitt. That's a biggee coming from me. But the things he said were so in line with my own thoughts and beliefs that I just had to start seeing him in a different light. He is an incredible humanitarian; he lives part of his life in the French Quarter in New Orleans, helping poor people and helping to rebuild people's lives. He gives more back in terms of being a good, decent man than most who claim to be "good christians". And he rejects christianity based on logic.

He talked about the legalization of marijuana and we all know how I feel about that one. Our government can't get their shit together enough to generate income from any other source other than unfair, unprecedented and unbelievable taxation, so why not at least use some creative thought to develop other sources of that taxable revenue? Study after study after study has shown the benefits of marijuana and have pretty much disproven so much of the rhetoric and false information out there. The only reason there is a "war" against it now is because the wrong people are making profits off of it, including the government. Just not the American People.

Many would read this and believe I'm a stoner, but in fact, I am not. At all. I am simply sick and tired of having to maintain a certain public position that goes against what I believe. I am sick and tired of having to forego my personal opinions on stuff just so I don't offend someone who knows me. Well fuck it; this is my blog, and this is how I feel. Legalize marijuana, allow pot bars and tax the hell out of it just like we do alcohol. We'll be rolling in money in about 24 hours and our healthcare crisis *might* be solved.

The other thing Brad talked about was religion, another seriously sore sticking point for me. I especially love it how people who are religious have no problem letting others know it, like they have to advertize that they are in some special club. BUT - let someone like ME make a comment about how I don't believe in religion, how I think the whole Jesus is the son of god myth is a load of ignorant crap, and I get attacked from all angles. THAT is the part I am sick of. I don't attack people for THEIR beliefs, so why do they feel the need to attack me for mine?

Being a "christian" does NOT make you a good person. I see so many people using it as a crutch for their bad behavior. If you can't consciously decide to make good decisions in your life and to try to be a good person without church, then I don't think there's much hope for you. I read all the time about how people go to church and try so hard "for their kids". Well let me tell you, if having kids wasn't a good enough reason to get your shit together and be a good person, well I don't think god or jesus or even allah is going to help you there. Stop using it as an excuse; get your life together, work hard, love hard and be a good friend or shut the hell up, because you ain't gettin' into that place you call heaven by making excuses in your life about how you are always trying so hard to be a good person!

I HATE the hypocracy of it all.

And, again, thinking it's a load of crap is MY opinion; it's not a personal attack on anyone else, it's a statement that reflects my logical, 40-year evaluation of my experience with God and the Universe.

Brad said he thought it didn't make sense, either. And that is my view. You might as well believe in Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny.

Having said that, I do believe Jesus was a man. I believe he might have even been an evolved human, someone of higher morality and intelligence, to whom humans were naturally drawn. I believe he probably went on to have a family and I believe that any God who would have his own child nailed to some cross is no god I want to believe in. To me, that is a directly antagonistic position to what god is supposed to represent.

I believe Jesus was a real man, who had sex and loved women and raised a family. Hell, he was a carpenter and that's pretty hot! :)

Whenever I make this argument, I am told, "but he died for our sins!". Come on, does that really make sense? Wouldn't it make more sense to just believe that god expects us to be kind to each other, to try your best to be a good person, to try to make society a reflection of good instead of evil? Is it really believable that the crucifixion of one person absolves the rest of us from being crappy people?

It's not that I don't believe in a higher being; it's that I believe that there is more logic to it than the myth. I believe there is a god; but I can't answer what it is, or how it works. What I do know is that nature is incredibly complex and any creator of it all MUST be a scientist. You just can't go from creating the universe to nailing your son to a cross.

It just doesn't make sense to me.