This would be exactly why I bought my own veterinary practice. This was written in July, 2007.



I'm so introspective and stuck in analysis paralysis these days that I want to vomit. I talk to my best girlfriends ALL of the time regarding the Emotions of Divorce. Hey! ED! Is there any relation to the Emotions of Divorce and Erectile Dysfunction? I don't know. Hell, it's 6am right now. :)

I'm on a wild roller coaster ride. I have great days and terrible days. Really not any in-between. I melt down over little things, like not getting to the grocery store on the days when I planned to go, or not getting enough laundry done on my day off.

The hardest part for me is letting go of my financial status. I went from having several thousand dollars per month at my disposal to being house-poor, lucky to have grocery money left over after paying the mortgage. Part of that is my fault - I bought this house from my ex and rolled a good chunk of my debt into it - which is fine, except that with the crappy housing market like it is, even my house-on-the-hill ain't worth much. So I have to hunker down and ride out the storm, so that when the sun shines again, I can make a buck or two.

I have another quote that I love, that jumped out in front of me the other day when I was thinking about selling my house and renting an apartment so I wouldn't be so broke all of the time. It went something like this:

"You can't see what's in front of you if you are constantly looking behind you."

Okay, so time to let go of my marriage for real, and stop pining for a life that I never had anyway. If money was what kept me in that place, then it's time I listen to some advice AGAIN that was given to me long before I even went to vet school:

"Do what you love and the money will come."

Do you think that applies to the Lotto, too? I mean, shit, I love scratch-offs. :)