Sunday, October 4, 2009

Evolution of an Activist

Every so often in life you find yourself at the crossroads of sudden change: it might be something simple, like all of a sudden you like sushi when you would never have touched it before. Maybe you'll decide to have a baby. Or, maybe it's something much more in depth, like a divorce... either way, it'll be a change of direction from which you cannot return, and making that choice could be funny and easy or it could be life threatening and huge.

I'm feeling the winds of change in my life recently and it's scary for me. But I think I'm welcoming it in a big way.

I've always been the activist in my family. Hippie-esque, somewhat green and granola, always fighting for someone else's plight, even if sometimes it's only in my mind. I've been confrontational for most of my life and have always welcomed any argument where good debate and intelligent conversation could overrule being angry.

I've been a member of NOW, NARAL, League of Women's Voters, the Democratic Party; I've read books written by my heroes and I've read the books by those I despise just so I'd understand their point of view (like stupid IDIOTS like Laura Schlessinger, Rush Limbaugh) I've stood up for and argued for Women's Rights, Abortion Rights, and education for little girls. I am a member of the ACLU. I believe birth control for ALL WOMEN should be a RIGHT and abortion should be accessible and PRIVATE. I do not believe the stupid fucking bible belongs in any woman's bedroom unless she WANTS it there.

Yes I am a liberal. A MODERATE liberal. I do not believe in gun control because I would shoot any asshole who comes into my house unannounced and try for his head cause I don't want him walking back out and getting away.

But, I'm getting older. I'm finding that the things I've always stood for - and my integrity is intact because if I believe in something, I will stand by my belief no matter what as compared to many people who don't even have true beliefs - but what I've found, unfortunately, is that I have been fighting battles for others who simply do not give a shit.

I've preached about the importance of women getting an education my whole life, but now I find that the next generation is, for the most part, stupid. They want to shit out babies like candy instead of opening their eyes, limiting their family size, educating themselves and making themselves better people, better citizens and above all, better PARENTS. Childbearing is an impulse decision nowadays, just like everything else in this society. It's a "want" and not a "need". They look for Prince Charming to make their dreams come true and think the life they have now will look the same in 10 years. There is NO concept of the fact that what they have now - the ability to vote, the ability to have a voice, the ability to CHOOSE to have kids - is a direct result of generations fighting for those exact rights and choices. These women do not go to college, they do not vote, they do not stand for anything. They resent feminism as if it's something to hate instead of embracing it and realizing the only reason they are where they are now by choice is directly because of feminism. It's a disgrace to those who went before us.

They have NO understanding of the concept that - ignorance about history condemns those to repeat it - which means there is a huge chance that their daughters will lose their rights some day. And they won't be able to stop it because they were too busy not caring when they should have been continuing the fight.

It just makes more sense to me to fight for your kids, if nothing else. Hell, if I had kids, I'd be a HUGE activist! I'd be fighting for women's rights so I could make sure my daughter had access to higher education; I'd be fighting for abortion rights so my daughter would always have privacy and the ability to make decisions about her own body (whether I agree with abortion or not!) I'd be GREEN and drive cars that don't use any gas so I could contribute to THEIR future world, and above all I'd make sure I could practice what I preach, which means education.

There was a time in my life when I was planning to have kids. And I REFUSED to have Disney in my house! My kids would NOT have watched that crap. Disney teaches little girls about fairy tales and saviors but does not teach them about respect, independence and education. I still feel that way today. THINK about the messages their impressionable little minds are receiving!!!

It makes me sad, but as I said... I'm sick of fighting for it. I don't care anymore. Hell, I don't even have any kids!! So these women are on their own now - and oh yes they are losing their voice because I am not the only one who feels this way - and they will get the life they deserve. It makes me very sad, but it is what it is.

I probably SHOULD have had a kid so I could help dilute out all of the ignorance being bred out there! Ahhh, well.... the dumbing down of America is a proven fact and it's becoming more and more evident every day. I can't stop it. But I also refuse to care anymore.

So my point is that I am becoming more conservative and less caring about these things because I am simply sick and tired of fighting for people who just don't care to fight for themselves.

They absolutely 100% deserve the world they will get.

And you know what? I'll be retired and settled and won't have to worry about anyone else and I'll like it that way. I'm going to move to Idaho with my husband, buy a gas-guzzling vehicle instead of an electric car, use as much water as I want, won't care about the amount of hormones in my food, won't send money into organizations that keep fighting our current government in attempts to keep our rights intact. (doubt that? The Patriot Act is a direct violation of our constitution) I even turned down a call this week from my annual NARAL group - I won't even support them anymore, despite being so strongly pro-choice that it makes some people puke.

It makes me sad to think this way, but women today don't drive electric cars, they don't conserve water, they don't fight to keep their rights.... so why should I? I can't care more about their kid's future than they do.

I'm off to enjoy my new gas guzzler, water my grass in the desert and I'm having some beef for dinner from cows that were fed too many hormones.

But at least I understand where those choices are taking America. And I'll be gone when the next generation realizes their loss.


P.S. I have to add how PROUD I am of my niece who, while I know she has baby fever badly and wants kids... is finishing her RN degree soon! She listened. I guess her mom's and my prodding over the years about educating yourself BEFORE having kids sunk in. She'll be highlighted soon in my Ode to My Beautiful Women blogs. :)

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